no, im not genius enough to write this
The European Union has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
Similar steps will be taken in the sekond year when "g" will be replased by "j" and "k"There will be krowink publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with "f". This will make words like fotokraf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated chanjes are possible. Kovernments will enkouraje the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil akre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the lankuaj is diskrasful and it should ko away, alonk with al other silent leters.
By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" wiz "z" and "w" viz "v", and ze terminal "ed" with "t"
Durink ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropt from vords kontainink "ou" and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understant ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze sixz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
Similar steps will be taken in the sekond year when "g" will be replased by "j" and "k"There will be krowink publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with "f". This will make words like fotokraf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated chanjes are possible. Kovernments will enkouraje the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil akre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the lankuaj is diskrasful and it should ko away, alonk with al other silent leters.
By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" wiz "z" and "w" viz "v", and ze terminal "ed" with "t"
Durink ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropt from vords kontainink "ou" and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understant ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze sixz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
1 Comments:
i love this entry.. whoever wrote this is a genius
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